MiamiNights - Miami Night Clubs, Nightlife

I'm not sure why I agreed to go see Cats. Perhaps I was having a seizure which was interpreted as an energetic nodding "yes." Perhaps it was my suicidal urge. I don't know. But I regret it. So amateurish, so tacky, (more importantly) drinks so bad. Avoid at all costs.

Just some warning: we are making some serious upgrades to the structure of our servers to cope with the insurmountable traffic on Destructoid. Over the next few days our site may be up and down as we make the switch over. Don't throw boiling water at me.

I was abnormally absent from Miami this New Years because I had a wedding to attend in Tampa. It was sort of a wedding reception/New Years party in which I was the best man. "What's that you say B.A.C.? You a best man?" Fuck yes I was the best man and though I nailed the speech, sadly I didn't nail any any brides maids. All in all it was a drunken mess the likes only an MN cohort can create or indulge in, where I alienated girls I was trying to hook up with, stumbled around like a fool and ripped a hole in my tux (I'm expecting a chunky bill in the mail soon).

Since I missed all the "hot" parties I want to hear how everyone rang in the New Year. 2008 was the end of possibly the shittiest year many of us have ever seen so there is no doubt in my mind that the good party people of Miami dumped '08 like a dirty illegitimate baby diaper. So please share with us and the readers your experiences: what/who you did, what hospital you woke up in, was the party as good as the flyer stated et cetera et cetera.

2008 was a shitfuck.

From the Madoff-devastated blue-green waters of Key Biscayne to the skeletal empty buildings of downtown Miami, no one is doing better this year than last. The night club biz is limping along with some major surprises (of the good and bad kind) to come in 2009. Most sectors of the hospitality industry, that which drives our city and this site, have been hit 30%. Even Dubai has cancelled its celebration, though they claim it's because of something called Palestine. Whatistine? The best thing we can do is kick this year in the pants, throw it out the door like a Craigslist hooker, and get too trashed to even remember.

If you're like most people I've asked, you still haven't decided what to do. Here are some options, sorted by price, due to poorness:

White Room: Al B Rotten and Johnny Strokes spinning. Free. Yes, $0. More information.

Afrobeta and Burlesque show at Vagabond: Tailored mad man John Hood hosts. $20. Free champagne at midnight. More information.

Italoboyz Afterhours at Nocturnal: Get Physical artists take over the Nocturnal terrace. This is the techno New Years event. $30. More information.

Juicy NYE at Park West: Robbie Rivera, Willie Morales, DMS12. Reasonable $25 before midnight, $40 after. More information.

Flight 09: Want to escape the nightclub scene entirely? I don't blame you. This unusual party is being held at an air field in South Miami. $99 gets you premium open bar all night long and food as well. Music by DJ M Dot. More information.

A bunch of Playboy bunnies at Karu + Y: Monica Leigh, Michelle Mclaughlin, Stephanie Larimore, Kayla Collins, Lindsey Wagner, Aj Alexander. That's a mouth full, har-har. $150. Open bar until the ball plops. More information.

Heathrow Lounge: Anarchy-themed thing featuring party conductor Alexis Mincolla. $150. Open bar until midnight:30. More information.

Lindsay Lohan at Mansion: This is the spinning rims of parties. $200 general admission. Open bar all night. More information.

The following is an interview held late one night at Mary's Coin Laundry (a 24hr laundromat/cafe that holds a special place in many local hearts) with two of Miami's home grown wildcards of unique dance flavors. It contains lude and lascivisious acts of truth, a little spanglish, confessions of passion, crime and the makings of Miami Bass. Interview after the jump

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Oh, the lucky many:

• Guillermo R.
• Xavier V.
• Adrian A.
• Matt D.
• George D.
• Jesslyn M.
• Vanessa K.
• Giovanna S.
• Jose D.
• Alain N.

See you guys at the show!

If you're lost and alone in this world, as I am, you are probably looking for something to do tonight other than a suicidal mix of whiskey and sleeping pills. Here are some Judaism-themed options!

Heebonism at Vagabond: Jay Diamond (Heeb Magazine), Carmel Ophir, Jessica Who?, & A-Train.

Jewtopia at Mokai: The SMAC family bring you another Jewtopia, featuring every possible Jewish host on the beach (seriously, read the flyer), and DJ Artime making music.

Ah yes, it's party season again. My internal organs and Wachovia representatives are angrily responding to the prolonged post-Basil abuse. As our Christmas gift to you guys for reading the site and threatening my life, I am officially announcing our latest contest: we are giving away ten pairs of tickets to Candyland 13, occurring on December 27th. Among big boys like DJ Q-Bert, the Spacemen, Ed Rush/Optical and The Plastician, you'll find the Heater/Miami Nights arena, featuring Kill The Noise, Treasure Fingers and Ludachrist.

What do you have to do to receive this wonderful gift? Just fill out a form and roll the dice. Good luck!

Click here to enter the contest.

With Chanukah here and Christmas not too far away I am filled with the sprit of joy and thanks!

A big heart felt thank you to the lovely Barbie, Aramis and the rest of the Poplife family.  Thank you thank you thank you!  Thank you Anna B. for great shots, and speaking of great shots- Jipsy thank you (those earrings are cute!!!) 

I have been in dyer need of a kick ass music makes me lose control sweat dripping booty popping fan cracking air gasping dancing- and maaaaaaaaann  did i get it on Saturday.  If you opted out of Poplife on Saturday, your bad.  The music was (as usual) ridiculous.  The beautiful people were in full effect and the random hanging mistletoe added some extra spice to the evening.  Yes we here at the juggernaut of 305 night life blogs have made no apologies for promoting OUR PERSONAL FAVORITE hangouts, and while there is some air of reporting we basically editorialize from head to toe.  Suck it if bugs you. 

Say what will be said about the frivolities of nightlife, here is what I know; when it's 6 AM and I'm in the cab headed home with G & M, exhausted, covered in sweat, hair a mess, wallet empty, in a dancetrak induced euphoria, my reaction is always the same... giggity giggity! 

In 2009, Miami's long running Off The Radar party returns, this time in a new home at The Standard. Ray Millian and crew are doing a sneak preview tonight from 8pm to midnight. Ray, Danny Ashe and Tom W. will be DJing along with hosts Grace Jones and Jason Jimenez. Seems like an interesting venue to me, worth checking out.